I'm Transsocial

 It wasn't my choice. I was assigned shyness at birth. This social assignment was reinforced with statements like "he's quiet" or "he's shy". These labels and other reinforcing stereotypes resulted in me being  more shy and quiet. The identity was imprinted on me.

The truth was that I was a careful observer. I was thoughtful (I was also the youngest of 6 children and got talked over a lot). However, with the attention brought to my quietness too often, I became overly introspective. I ended up accepting and identifying with the labels.

As I got a little older and was put in more social situations, I started to experience social dysphoria. I didn't want to be shy or quiet. In side of me was a fun, social, extrovert just waiting to be released. But how can you change something like that? 

In high school, I exerted myself striving to be more outgoing. I had successes but still had the emotional scars and self doubt that made me unsafely self-aware of any inadequacy.

I've tried many therapies, including 7 years as a member of Toastmasters. It's only recently that I came to the realization that I no longer identify as shy. To further reinforce my new identity, my wife told me that when she tells her friends (who happen to know me now) about my previous shyness, they are incredulous and can't imagine it. I guess I am successfully "passing" in my new identity.

Suggestions for Raising Shy Children

If you notice that your child demonstrates traits of shyness, I have some recommendations. My only expertise is as a transsocial myself, parent of adult children and grandparent. My experience scientifically represents a very small sample size, but I still offer these suggestions.

1. Avoid labeling the child. Avoid saying "You are shy" or anything similar.
2. If you feel like you have to draw attention to their behavior, pick positive traits "Wow, you were so brave climbing that ladder!", "That was nice of you to share your toy", etc.
3. Give them opportunities for positive social experiences (e.g. sports, clubs, family gatherings).
4. When introducing them to others, bring up things that they are proud of, "This is Mike, he likes to play with Legos".
5. Make it safe to talk to you. Let them express their emotions and validate how they feel. Don't try to talk them out of or into feeling another way.
6. Have crucial conversations in private. "I noticed that you were more quiet than normal around Suzie. Can you tell me about that?"

 

Making Sense of California's Electric Policy

TL/DR;

• An energy crisis due to a seasonal heat-wave in California was possibly averted by large batteries that stored excess generation capacity
• The policies supporting a transition to EVs could help with future energy crises if the batteries become extra energy storage on the grid

Update October 9, 2022

This article supports my conclusions:

https://www.businessinsider.com/electric-car-wont-overload-electrical-grid-california-evs-2022-10

This article contradicts my conclusions:

https://news.stanford.edu/press-releases/2022/09/22/charging-cars-honight-not-way-go/

Background

On August 25, 2022, California announced that by 2035 100% of new cars and light trucks sold in the state will be zero-emission vehicles.

On September 1, 2022 (exactly one week later) I got a loud notification on my phone, a Flex Alert from the state to reduce my use of electricity during the hours of 4 to 9 p.m, including avoiding charging electric vehicles (EVs).

These two facts seem to make California out of touch with reality. However, I think the policy has the potential to make sense.

Here's why:

We use electricity. Lot's and lot's of it 

To get electricity you need two things:

1. Energy Source (gas, coal, potential energy of water in a reservoir, uranium, sun light, wind, waves)
2. Electric Generation (energy sources are consumed to spin electric generators, photo voltaic cells convert sunlight, etc.). 

When you need it, you need it

We've been spoiled by Amazon's fast delivery times, but when I turn on my light or computer or TV or washing machine, I don't want a text notification that tells me my electricity will be delivered in a few minutes. I expect to get it instantly and power companies manage to provide it. They put another electric generator online and start consuming some of the stored energy.

Energy use varies during the day. Use is lowest while most of us sleep and our refrigerators are the main consumers. It increases as we awake and turn on lights and appliances. It peaks around noon as we enlist our air conditioners to keep us cool.

Avoid Peak Usage

We used to be told to use appliances in the morning or evening to avoid adding demand during peak usage. Now, with widespread solar installations on homes and businesses, peak solar generation coincides with peak air conditioning usage and the new peak is when we get home from school and work and turn on lights and appliances.  

During extra hot days, when air conditioners run longer, the generation grid can get stressed near the max. Any failures of equipment can be catastrophic. 

This is when Flex Alert notices are sent out, basically asking for citizens to help out.

Why not just build more Power Plants?

The extra generation capacity could be added to avoid this problem, but that would mean spending billions of dollars just to provide extra capacity during a a few hours for a few weeks of the year.

California already has extra capacity as it can generate 45 gigawatts of  power while the demand during hot months is about 38 gigawatts (1). 

Wouldn't it be better if California could use it's excess capacity during lower demand times and store up the electricity? Yes it would!

Offsetting Capacity by Storing Electricity

The Olivenhain Dam is a gravity dam near Escondido California above Lake Hodges (2). During the peak hours, water flows through hydroelectric generators to Lake Hodges. At night, when there is excessive generation capacity from other sources, that capacity is used to pump water back into the Olivenhain reservoir.

More recently, massive industrial grade batteries have been used to store the extra capacity(3) and helped avert an energy crisis (4). How much capacity do these batteries have? More than the output of the Diablo Nuclear power plant .  

Could EV Batteries be Used to Support the Grid?

Already, homes equipped with solar panels can provide energy to the grid when generating more electricity than a home uses. This is the main reason for peak usage switching from mid-day to evenings. 

Many EV owners charge their vehicles off hours to take advantage of cheaper rates. With the EV batteries essentially connected to the grid, EV owners have the potential to sell the cheaper energy in their batteries during the peak hours and make a profit (or for other incentives) all while helping create a more stable grid.

Conclusion

California's policy of all new vehicle sales by 2035, while having other issues not covered here (e.g. what about people that don't want EVs or what's the face of the ICE vehicles), may help balance our state's energy consumption throughout the day easing the peak demands on the grid.

1 https://www.physics.uci.edu/~silverma/demand.html#:~:text=During%20the%20winter%20from%20October,Cal%2DISO%20controls%2045%2C000%20megawatts.

2 https://www.sdcwa.org/projects-programs/facilities/olivenhain-dam-reservoir/

3 https://www.energy.ca.gov/data-reports/energy-insights/buy-low-sell-high-how-batteries-are-cleaning-grid

4 https://www.energy-storage.news/californias-fleet-of-battery-storage-working-to-avert-energy-crisis/

Ethical Thinking

 In "The Miniature Guide to Critical Thinking", by Richard Paul and Linda Elder, the idea of ethical thinking was presented. I like to create models to help me understand the ideas, so here's my model.

Imagine groups of people with common thinking patterns, beliefs, biases, etc. You find yourself in one of the groups, most likely due to your upbringing, where you grew up and who you associated with. 

As you've developed critical thinking skills, you managed to make some sense of the complicated world we live in. You learn that these skills apply as much to yourself as others, even when inconvenient. You have developed...

Intellectual Integrity or, consistent standards for thinking that you apply to yourself and others.

Soon you start finding problems with the way your group thinks.  You feel an obligation to be true to your new understandings and not shy away, in spite of any negative consequences.  What you need is...

Intellectual Courage or, the ability to face difficult ideas that go against your previously held ideas.

Next you find that the framework for thinking of your group is not working anymore. Also, members of your group keep pushing back on your courageous thinking. What you need is...

Intellectual Autonomy or, having control of your own beliefs and values. But it feels lonely going it alone. What you need is... 

Intellectual Perseverance or, the ability to endure hardships and stick to your principles. Even then, you still need to live in this world and interact with others that don't use critical thinking. What you need is...

Intellectual Empathy or, an understanding of the forces and conditions that have lead to others thinking and believing how they do. It also helps us remember when we ourselves had similar ways of thinking. This often leads to...

Intellectual Humility or, an awareness of the limitations in our own understanding, biases and egocentrism.  You realize that you don't know as much as you think you know.

The Church of Me

Membership: There is only one member (me). We are currently not accepting new members as membership is limited to one person. If you really want to join, you can start your own church, The Church of You.

Doctrines: Our doctrines are not written down or recorded anywhere since they are continually evolving. Learning new information results in changes to our doctrines. No committee meetings, focus groups, pilot programs, apologetics for our old doctrines are required. We can change our doctrines without concern for offending anyone or losing members. This gives us the ability to change quickly when we discover we are wrong.

Missionary Work: We don't proselytize or evangelize since we aren't accepting new members

Criticisms:

Isn't the "Church of Me" antisocial or isolationist? 

We still believe in the importance of relationships and community. We just don't feel that doctrines should interfere with the quality of a relationship. The consequence of tying doctrines to community is self-righteous attitudes and judgement.

Isn't the "Church of Me" selfish?

Currently selfish behavior is supported when self-care is needed. 

If your doctrines aren't written down, doesn't that just mean you can believe whatever you want?

Our doctrines are tied to evidence: personal, historical, scientific, data-driven. When evidence is limited or conflicting, then we allow for uncertainty. We strive to recognize many of the logical fallacies and cognitive biases that lead to false beliefs.

How much good can a church with only one member do?

Horrific acts have been performed by powerful churches in the name of righteousness. Limiting how much good we can do also limits how much evil we can do. Still, we delight in serving others for the purpose of reducing their suffering and increasing their joy.

The "Church of Me" is false because it doesn't agree with my beliefs

By that standard, all churches are false since a majority of the world doesn't agree with their beliefs. For example, Christianity has the most followers at about 31% of the world's population. But that means that 69% of the world disagree with Christian beliefs. Even inside of Christianity, there are disagreements on beliefs (Catholic, Protestant, Eastern Orthodoxy, etc.).

The "Church of Me" is more likely to be right since it corrects its errors instead of relying on apologetics to defend beliefs that are proven wrong with evidence (typically those beliefs cannot be changed due to being recorded in scripture). 

The "Church of Me" doesn't work for me. I want a church that's run by people smarter than me.

"The Church of Me" doesn't restrict anyone else from joining any church they want for whatever reason they want.

  

What I Learned From Listening to My Mom Talk on the Phone

I learned some interesting things by listening to my mom talk on the telephone. She would be in the kitchen tethered to the nearest phone outlet and I would be sitting on the floor in the family room working on my latest Lego creation. My eyes would be busy looking for the right piece. My hands would be busy sifting and assembling. But my ears were idly listening to every word (Let this be a warning to parents with children within earshot of phone conversations). I became a bit of an expert piecing together a full conversation from only one half. Luckily my mom was animated and engaging so I could infer the other persons reactions.

Lesson 1: Where Do Babies Come From?

One common narrative was "Did you hear so-and-so is having a baby?". This helped me form an early theory about where babies came from. 

The information: 

1. Different families had different numbers of children
2. It was always a surprise to everyone when the mother became pregnant

 Conclusion: the parents must have been as surprised as anyone so therefore babies were something that just happened spontaneously, like a volunteer tomato plant in the yard. (Fortunately my mom corrected this lesson when I was the appropriate age using a fully illustrated book to explain where babies came from).

Lesson 2: What happens when a story is retold?

Another lesson comes due to the limitation of the phone technology of the time: you could only talk to one person at a time. Therefore, when my mom would come across a story, she would then call a friend and tell it. Then she would have to call her next friend and retell the same story. This would repeat many times. This could have been tedious and boring to me since I don't like repetition. Luckily I had a sharp little mind and I began to take notice in the subtle changes in each telling of the story. The "fish got longer" with each telling, as the saying goes. At the time, I was critical of her thinking that she was stretching the truth. Now I realize that she was just playing the dance of conversation. 

Why did she tell stories? For her own pleasure. 

What gave her pleasure? It was the emotional reaction of her friends.

How do you increase pleasure? You leave out the boring parts and "emphasize" the good parts.

Conclusion: copies of copies of something change the original. This is true for the stories we tell, our childhood memories, eyewitness accounts, and even Bible manuscripts.

A Better Mirror

 In his book, "Waking Up", Sam Harris describes our consciousness as a mirror and asks:

When someone beautiful looks in the mirror, does their image make the mirror better?

or, when someone ugly looks in the mirror, does their image make the mirror worse?

I've been thinking about this and it has been a helpful metaphor.  I wondered "what does make the mirror better?".  The answer is a perfect reflecting surface, without blemish, that creates an image that most closely matches reality.  Our thoughts (consciousness) should strive to create an accurate image of reality, whether reality is good, bad, or both.

My contemplation on the mirror was interrupted by my own stories ruminating in my head. You know the stories that you tell yourself over and over again. Maybe it's a self criticism. Maybe it's a "I deserve better than this". Then my mind went back to thinking about the mirror.  I realized that these stories we tell ourselves are like drawings we make and paste to our mirror. We can look at these stories and try to convince ourselves that they represent the truth. But they aren't. We need to remove the drawings so that we can see the true image of reality.

For example, I remember a story from my childhood. As the youngest of 6 kids, I felt neglected. I decided to climb a tree in the backyard to hide. My reasoning was that when my family realized I was missing, they would be worried and come looking for me. When they found me they would give me the attention I desired. I stayed in the tree for what seemed like a long time but no one realized I was gone. I meekly climbed down the tree accepting that no one cared about me. This story was sketched out and pasted in my mirror. Recently I read the book "Running on Empty" by Janice Webb, I recognized this experience as emotional neglect. Fortunately, the book gave several examples of emotional nurturing, so I was able to revisit my experience. My new version of the story: My dad worked full time and then had obligations in the evening. My mom was busy caring for our large family. My older siblings were teenagers and most likely occupied with their own lives. My brother that I shared a room with was probably glad to have a break from his little brother. Yes, I felt neglected and that hurt. It was okay for me to feel that way, but I also needed to understand the conditions that lead up to my experience. 

As a result, I was able to remove the image fixed to my mirror and allowing it to reflect reality. Seeing reality is liberating. 

Scarcity of Thought: Transitioning from Tribalism to Community

In the book "Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much", by Sendhi Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir, there's the example of two people packing for a trip. One has a tiny suitcase and the other has a large suitcase. The person with the tiny suitcase needs to spend more time optimizing their decisions on what to bring, not bring and how to pack.  The person with the large suitcase can quickly pack. This person thinks to themselves "I might want to go running", so they throw in their running shoes without further thought.

What if we apply this principle to thought: ideas, beliefs, opinions? Maybe your tiny "suitcase", or scarcity, is due to your religion, political party, education, or cultural upbringing. As a result, when you get new information, you struggle to fit it into existing narratives. This is why we have political attacks. This is where apologetics comes from. This is the root cause of cognitive biases. For example, confirmation bias, where we tend to find and remember information that confirms our perceptions (and ignoring information that doesn't fit). Our suitcases are just too small for anything else.

It can be very liberating upgrading your tiny cognitive suitcase for a larger mental space. This can happen through a sudden or gradual awakening.  This happened for me politically during the Bush/Gore election. When something benign like dangling chads became a divisive political issue, I realized that the political parties were more concerned about obtaining and keeping power than they were about truth and justice.  I become an independent.

I grew up in a time when it seemed that the villains in many movies where from Russia (or the former Soviet Union).  When my group hired 2 Russians, I had to check my reactions. I was able to learn their stories and turned suspicion into respect.

I have a coworker from Iran. The media tells me that they are one of our new enemies. He ended up inviting me to his wedding. It was one of the most beautiful, inclusive experiences I have ever had. The Persian culture is rich and I would be proud if I was Persian.

I got to know another coworker from Iraq. I've heard insensitive people say while we were at war with Iraq that we should just drop a nuclear bomb on them and be done with it. My coworker told his story. He lived in a village where all of the names were biblical. The towns, hills, mountains all had names from the bible. He lived near where they thought Noah's Ark landed. How he came to America was that he was a Christian refuge fleeing earlier wars. The government sent a notice "We are going to be bombing your city. Either leave or be bombed" 

Still "my" group was morally superior, right? As I got to truly know people outside of "my" group, I was surprised to find that they had qualities that I valued. Often, their qualities were more polished, refined and authentic than found in my group

Tribalism vs Community

In this post, Alan Weiss writes

Tribes are homogenous, communities are heterogeneous.

Tribes are exclusionary. They recognize their own members’ similarities and common background...tribes tend to be insecure, mistrustful of non-tribal relationships, and highly threatened by perceived attacks on their beliefs and behaviors.

Communities are much more elastic, since it’s almost impossible to insult everyone at once due to the eclectic nature of the community. They will embrace outsiders and interact with other communities readily.

Communities are inclusionary. They are characterized by common attitudes, interests, and goals. Religion, beliefs, kinship, and opinions can differ starkly in communities and, in fact, give them vibrancy and dynamism, allowing for continued experimentation and growth. They do not hold long-term animosities against other communities, and those within them shift in opinion and allegiance as time goes by and learning occurs.

I love this!

Scarcity found in tribes is not necessary. It's possible to make space for a larger community. As I travel through life, I'm grateful for a "larger suitcase" that allows me to make room for an expanded understanding of the world while on my journey through life.