Dogs and Cats: Insights Into Reverse Domestication

 I read a funny quote recently:

"Dogs prepare you for having Babies. Cats prepare you for having teenagers."

As usual, my mind tries making connections, and I thought of a book I recently read: "Domesticated: Evolution in a man-made world" by Richard C. Francis (It was part of the research I was doing for a children's book, "Untamable" that I wrote).

Domestication occurs when an animal species coevolves with humans, gradually overcoming fear and developing a dependency on humans. Prior to domestication, the animal was completely independent. Dogs became domesticated long before cats, and in a sense, cats aren't fully domesticated.

So the joke has some truth to it: dogs are like babies, being fully dependent on humans. Cats are like teenagers, never fully submitting and always striving for a level of independence. It's like the reverse of domestication. Remember this if you are raising a teenager. Your goal is to nourish their untamable spirit and help them achieve complete independence.

The Story of the Math Cult

 "But they're just pants!"

Sara was frustrated. All of her friends had the new jeans, and they looked cute. For some reason, she thought her mom might understand this time and just see that new pants might make her daughter happy. But no, somehow, it turned into a math lesson.

"You already have pants, dear. These new pants are just trendy. They didn't even exist last year. In a few months, they'll be out of style. Not like math. I can solve a math problem and get the same answer today as someone else got a hundred years ago or a hundred years from now. Even better, the answer is the same for me as for someone in China, India, or Africa. Math is true. Math is eternal."

Sara was sick of math. What was the equation for giggling? or hanging out? or even worse, making your daughter's life miserable? Just once, she would like to stay home on Mathday and watch T.V. (Mathday was the name her parents and other members of their math collective called Sunday. "It only makes sense to set aside one day a weak for the proper observance of the purity of mathematics.")

---

"What's this?" said her mom with a look of disgust on her face.

"That's my art project," said Sara. Her parents only agreed to let her take art if she kept to geometric shapes. Geometry always made her mom feel uneasy since there weren't any numbers or mathematical symbols involved, but Sara's dad showed the equations for various geometric shapes and how to calculate perspective, easing Mom's anxiety.

"It's not geometric. It's all curved and irregular," complained her mom with a strong emphasis on 'irregular'.

"It's a strange attractor from Chaos theory, which is a branch of mathematics," said Sara. She had done her homework. A simple internet search for What's the branch of mathematics that is the least like math? Her mom shuddered at the mention of Chaos theory. No one in her math group accepted that Chaos theory was actually math. Where was the certainty or the truth in Chaos?

Sara didn't dare bring home her other art projects. They were purely abstract, emotional expressions of how she felt inside. There was zero math. Oh, wait. Zero is a number in math. It was a math void. Damn it! Void is a math term. It was a nada math. Yes. A piece of nada math art.

---

"What pie do you want me to make for Pi Day?" asked her mom. March 14, or 3.14, was the holy holiday for the Math collective. Sara really wanted to celebrate the other holidays, like Halloween and Christmas, but her parents were purists. Those are just commercialized days for companies to sell more stuff. Sara thought about what her friend at school said about Pi Day. Pi Day was just invented by geeks to sell more math. Sara chuckled.

"Why are you laughing?" asked her mom.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about something. You know my favorite pie is apple," said Sara. 

Pi Day celebration at least had yummy pie. Most of the other math collective gatherings were nothing but math - theory, applications of math, and math self-righteousness. The adults gathered together, and from a distance, it seemed that they were talking about something interesting, like a new movie they saw. But when you got close enough to hear them, they were just geeking out on math. The kids all stood around eating their pie and rolling their eyes. Under their breaths, they talked about how boring their parents were and how much they hated math.

"I'm going to be a lawyer," said one boy.

"Do your parents know?"

"Yes. They said that I'd have to pay for college myself. 'Law is so ephemeral,' they said. 'We'll only pay for a true education. One that uses math.'"

Sara wanted to be an artist but never told anyone. Her art teacher said that she was good enough.

To be continued...

Don't Become Strangers

 A couple of years ago, my wife and I attended a wedding. The DJ had anyone married over 20 years come to the dance floor to dance. He gradually dismissed couples by raising the time married, "Married over 25 years, stay on the dance floor." Finally, he narrowed it down to a couple that had been married longer than anyone else. In front of all the guests, he asked this couple, "What's your secret to being married for so long?"

I don't remember what their answer was, but I've thought many times, "How would I answer the same question?" I felt anxious about it because I couldn't come up with a simple answer. One could give a long speech about everything it takes to make a lasting relationship work.

Recently, I found the answer:

Don't become strangers

The answer applies to any relationship, parents, children, siblings, old friends, etc. Unfortunately, I have let some people in my life become strangers. The result is both negative and positive. "When did they start thinking that way?" and "Wow, I've missed out on a lot of enjoyment not having them in my life!"

If you feel an unwelcome divide growing between you and someone in your life, do what you can to keep each other in your life. Talk to them about what and how they think. Be curious and non-judgemental. Don't treat them like a stranger. Show kindness and consideration.

Whatever you do, however you do it, make sure to nourish the relationships that you want to and should keep.

 

Moral Aloneness

 I came across the phrase "Moral Aloneness" in the book "Escape from Freedom" by Erich Fromm (I have to admit I didn't finish the book since it started hurting my head. A little too deep to read during a holiday break).

The idea is that you can feel lonely even when surrounded by people who don't share your views. This helps explain many experiences in my life. I tend to "look into things" for a deeper understanding, which results in me "seeing things differently" from others. It is frustrating trying to summarize countless hours of study during a casual conversation. It would be easy to assume my moral views are superior, but that's a dangerous assumption.

Sometimes, a moral position is less important than the relationship. I'm reminded of a couple of quotes:

"People are more important than the truth."

"It's hard when people sin differently than we do."

"Is that the hill you want to die on?"

Can "moral aloneness" explain the polarization in our world today? To avoid being morally alone, do people look for like-minded communities? If so, we need to adhere to our morals, even when resulting in "moral aloneness."  History is replete with examples of heroes standing on their principles. 

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."