A Better Mirror

 In his book, "Waking Up", Sam Harris describes our consciousness as a mirror and asks:

When someone beautiful looks in the mirror, does their image make the mirror better?

or, when someone ugly looks in the mirror, does their image make the mirror worse?

I've been thinking about this and it has been a helpful metaphor.  I wondered "what does make the mirror better?".  The answer is a perfect reflecting surface, without blemish, that creates an image that most closely matches reality.  Our thoughts (consciousness) should strive to create an accurate image of reality, whether reality is good, bad, or both.

My contemplation on the mirror was interrupted by my own stories ruminating in my head. You know the stories that you tell yourself over and over again. Maybe it's a self criticism. Maybe it's a "I deserve better than this". Then my mind went back to thinking about the mirror.  I realized that these stories we tell ourselves are like drawings we make and paste to our mirror. We can look at these stories and try to convince ourselves that they represent the truth. But they aren't. We need to remove the drawings so that we can see the true image of reality.

For example, I remember a story from my childhood. As the youngest of 6 kids, I felt neglected. I decided to climb a tree in the backyard to hide. My reasoning was that when my family realized I was missing, they would be worried and come looking for me. When they found me they would give me the attention I desired. I stayed in the tree for what seemed like a long time but no one realized I was gone. I meekly climbed down the tree accepting that no one cared about me. This story was sketched out and pasted in my mirror. Recently I read the book "Running on Empty" by Janice Webb, I recognized this experience as emotional neglect. Fortunately, the book gave several examples of emotional nurturing, so I was able to revisit my experience. My new version of the story: My dad worked full time and then had obligations in the evening. My mom was busy caring for our large family. My older siblings were teenagers and most likely occupied with their own lives. My brother that I shared a room with was probably glad to have a break from his little brother. Yes, I felt neglected and that hurt. It was okay for me to feel that way, but I also needed to understand the conditions that lead up to my experience. 

As a result, I was able to remove the image fixed to my mirror and allowing it to reflect reality. Seeing reality is liberating. 

Accepting a Pandemic Mindset

On March 11, 2019, I texted a friend regarding COV-19

 "I think it's overblown and will be mostly over in a month,
  but I've been wrong before trying to predict the future."

On March 12, 2019, I texted the same friend with a link to a news story where the governor of California, Gavin Newsom tells people to cancel, postpone events of more than 250 people.

"I never thought I'd be proven wrong so quickly" 

Soon I was working from home, and plotting the daily growth in cases.  At first the data was upsetting when I projected the exponential growth forward. Last week I expected 1 million cases by this week and today my prediction proved accurate.  I expect 1 million deaths by the end of the month.  Although upsetting, I have had to adopt a pandemic mindset.

This is hard due to the concept "regression towards the mean" that has us conditioned to expect things to eventually improve.  A down market recovers.  Bad weather passes. I basically have seen this "regression" mindset pervade until something clicks and the person adopts the pandemic mindset.

I give everyone a pass that has been or still hasn't yet adopted the pandemic mindset.

We all refuse to accept it at first.  Everyone has their reason for waiting.  But the pandemic will continue to grow exponentially until it can't be denied or ignored.  It will continue for weeks, months, maybe years.  Eventually, we WILL have "regression towards the mean" where things return to normal.  It may be one year or many.  Most likely it will be longer than we expect due to our biases.

Meanwhile, I'm thankful that our governor, president and much of the public have adopted the pandemic mindset.  I'm watching Brazil carefully because their president still hasn't adopted the mindset.

Coping with a Pandemic Mindset

How do you cope after adopting the pandemic mindset?  For me, I'm learning about secular Buddhism.  There is suffering in the world.  One cause of suffering is us trying to avoid suffering.  We can end the suffering.  I can't concern myself with worldwide suffering.  Even more, I need to be aware of any suffering I am causing myself by my thoughts.  Recently I learned about meditation using the method R.A.I.N (Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Non-identify). This is how it works.  You sit quietly and try to quiet your mind.  When a thought, emotion, feeling distracts you, you recognize it.  Then you accept that you are experiencing it and don't try to fight it.  Then you investigate. What part of your body is experiencing it?  What part of your body released the hormones to drive the emotion? What experience triggered the response? Are your thoughts accurate? Finally, you realize that these things are external to you and not you.  Your adrenal gland secreting adrenaline was not commanded by you.  The external triggers weren't requested by you.  Don't identify with it. 

If we take the time to look at how we see things, then the way we see things changes

I can't control the pandemic.  I can only control my thoughts and actions: how I spend my time, how I treat those around me, how I communicate with others.  And I can do it in a way that reduces suffering for anyone or thing in my realm of influence.

I believe that this is an opportunity for our culture to evolve in positive ways.