Thursday, June 3, 2021

What I Learned From Listening to My Mom Talk on the Phone

I learned some interesting things by listening to my mom talk on the telephone. She would be in the kitchen tethered to the nearest phone outlet and I would be sitting on the floor in the family room working on my latest Lego creation. My eyes would be busy looking for the right piece. My hands would be busy sifting and assembling. But my ears were idly listening to every word (Let this be a warning to parents with children within earshot of phone conversations). I became a bit of an expert piecing together a full conversation from only one half. Luckily my mom was animated and engaging so I could infer the other persons reactions.

Lesson 1: Where Do Babies Come From?

One common narrative was "Did you hear so-and-so is having a baby?". This helped me form an early theory about where babies came from. 

The information: 

  1. Different families had different numbers of children
  2. It was always a surprise to everyone when the mother became pregnant
 Conclusion: the parents must have been as surprised as anyone so therefore babies were something that just happened spontaneously, like a volunteer tomato plant in the yard. (Fortunately my mom corrected this lesson when I was the appropriate age using a fully illustrated book to explain where babies came from).

Lesson 2: What happens when a story is retold?

Another lesson comes due to the limitation of the phone technology of the time: you could only talk to one person at a time. Therefore, when my mom would come across a story, she would then call a friend and tell it. Then she would have to call her next friend and retell the same story. This would repeat many times. This could have been tedious and boring to me since I don't like repetition. Luckily I had a sharp little mind and I began to take notice in the subtle changes in each telling of the story. The "fish got longer" with each telling, as the saying goes. At the time, I was critical of her thinking that she was stretching the truth. Now I realize that she was just playing the dance of conversation. 

Why did she tell stories? For her own pleasure. 
What gave her pleasure? It was the emotional reaction of her friends.
How do you increase pleasure? You leave out the boring parts and "emphasize" the good parts.

Conclusion: copies of copies of something change the original. This is true for the stories we tell, our childhood memories, eyewitness accounts, and even Bible manuscripts.

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